Fritz for First Dog

Dear President Elect Obama,

Let me outline my qualifications for the position of First Dog.

1. I am very small, and will have no impact on the national debt.
2. I am gentle and kind.....except to a certain other dachsund.
3. I am house trained....I only mark things that I like.
4. My caretakers, who naturally would come along, will ensure that your little girls wont' have to do a thing except play with me once in a while.
5. My large big sister will guard against any potential intruders. Especially falling leaves or passing deer, squirrels, or acorns.
6. I will not need to take a salary - just a few weeks vacation a year to visit my homestead to make sure it's still there. And my caretakers will be very comfortable in the Lincoln bedroom.
7. I am extremely intelligent and can be sure to make better decisions on such things as economic policy, health care, education, and foreign policy than that other guy who has a Scottie dog now.
8. I am pretty sure I could take that little dog, Barney, any day.
9. My mom comes with a free fashion advice service for the first lady. I hope she likes L.L. Bean.
10. And look at that face, those eyes: